I have to tell you what happened to me and the injustice of it all. I was up early as usual, just prowling my domain, when I discovered a snake. Little no-footed bastard was trying to horn in on my territory. So, I am flipping it around, snacking a little (tastes like chicken, I know this cause I licked the chicken my furless chatalaine was chopping up a few days ago) when one of those fast-moving, miniatures peoples starts shrieking. Doesn't she realize that cats have very sensitive ears! That inconsiderate minion takes it from me and throws it outside. I am twitching my tail and meowing as angrily as I can, but she ignores me and does it anyway.
You know, I am of course forced to pay them back. I have learned from that little white-headed dervish to act cute for a few minutes and then I can do my evil deeds and be forgiven. I think later I am going to throw up on the carpet and not the tile. I will bite a few ankles and I am definitely going to shred some fabric in that warm sunny room my bumbling care-taker likes so much. They just never learn who is in charge here!
Wait I hear something, she is coming, nap time! I have to warm up the purrcolator. Don't say a word or I will find you!