Writing about the day to day mysteries of life.

Friday, March 12, 2010

Friends and Control Undergarments

Luckfully, I have lots of friends.  I have many fun friends.  I have many interesting friends.  I have many smart friends.  I can turn a phrase, but am not so good at facts.  I feel like I am the smallest house in the big, fancy neighborhood.  They help provide me with good stories. A friend told me he reads a great blog, but it is on the risque side.  I could pimp up my ride or palm something up, but I am not really rebellious enough to suffer the fall-out.  I think if I decide to write really naughty I will have to adopt a pen name.  I can't tell you what it is, I don't want you to recognize me.

I am going to discuss the really racy subject of control top undergarments.  Yes, I am going to talk about granny underpants, nice visual!  The new support garments are not your mother's girdles.  They don't have buckles anywhere.  They aren't freestanding in the closet.  They are not a dingy white.  They are quite stylish, very fashionable!  Now that my pant size is twice my age, I took a stroll down that aisle.  It may not be a girdle, but it isn't pretty putting them on.  It was like trying to get a bunch of helium balloons into the backseat of the car.  No matter where you push, something pops out on the other side.  I am not excited to wear these garments in the summer.  Squeezed in is torture enough, but add in sweaty.......great.  Have I discussed this before? Sorry if I have, but refer back to the above paragraph.

In case you are wondering if I have set on my couch all morning?  The answer is no, I took a shower.  It is raining and I am just not motivated to literally do anything.  After-all, the boys cleaned house yesterday.  I watched "Australia" on HBO, pretty darn lame movie and fourteen hours long.   I was going to sew, but didn't feel like winding a new bobbin.  I was about to make cookies and realized I have no flour.  I am down to one Diet Coke, so I will have to leave sometime soon.  I really should have servants!

1 comment:

  1. I don't have actual Spanx, but a spandexy knockoff. When I find myself sweating, swearing, and on the verge of tears trying to stuff my fat ass into the things, is when I start questioning my commitment to any event that requires dressing up.

    One of these days I will just say Fuck It and buy a MuuMuu.

    (The only reason to watch Australia is to see Hugh Jackman...and there are other better movies with the same advantage.)