Writing about the day to day mysteries of life.

Thursday, May 20, 2010

Knick Knack and Target

Ned was singing "knick knack paddy whack give the dog a bone", Ellen asked me if Michael Jackson wrote that song.  We were in the middle of coming and going and I said no, but I have really been wondering why she asked that.  I want to know what the connection is, where the leap was made?  I think the only think Michael Jackson was playing knick knack with is something that rhymes with weenis.  That wasn't nice of me, poor Michael Jackson.

My sister is still having headaches and has now decided to eliminate the possibility it could be something in her house.  She has decided to sleep in a tent in her front yard for a week - http://yetiak.blogspot.com.  For me, sleeping in a tent in the front yard for a week would give me a headache.  I would have to check into the Howard Johnson.

Sadly, I have to report that "Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter" gets added to the "Read and Vomit" list.  It should be on a "Read and Snore" list, but I am not starting another list.  It is so boring.  It reads like a text book journal.  I heard from Candace, my card swapper, that the "Pride and Prejudice" take-off is a total snooze also.  Very disappointing!!  I guess the only good thing about the read is I have learned quite a bit about Lincoln and his speeches.

Today's conversation with the kids might go something like this:

"Mom, what did you do today?"

Why, thanks for asking, I made a blanket for a bear and he wasn't even cold."

"Mom, why are there no clean clothes in drawers?  Why is there dog fur all over the carpet?  Why are we having bagels for dinner - again?  Why did you buy cookies, instead of make them, for my special snack for tomorrow? Why have you not showered?"

"I was painting silk worm casings with liquid watercolor."

"Mom, do you think you might be weirder than our friend's moms?"

"No, why would you think that?"

I am actually lying, I did accomplish one thing today.  I went to Target.  I have not been to Target in ages, because I like to go there too much and get over-exuberant purchasing cute but schlocky gear.   The Target by my house is remodeling to carry food, so they have squeezed every thing else into the other departments.  The aisles were so narrow that barely one cart could go through.  The girls clothing section was not passable with a cart.  I can't drive the cart (we called them buggies growing up) well when the store isn't crammed, so today I was knocking all kinds of crap onto the floor.  I am not returning until I think all this construction is completed.  I lied twice, I then went to Giant.  I don't know what is up with them, but they have the opposite problem.  There is a shortage of food at the store on Reisterstown.  Is everyone but Target keeping smaller inventories?  Is everyone in Pikesville on a diet but me?

I took a break and came back to the "edit posts" section and this was one of the un-published posts.  I wonder which kid did this.  I don't know what it is, but sounds a bit like bee-bop.  "red bells and frells night have been spread it apart the kids are leaning its one third no less He likes them maam its already you said berservk  flab t flubbun a martmart  allie  out out oit you tell us the superrate."

I hung up the birdhouse and it doesn't look to bad.  We shall see how long it stays up in the tree, I hung it up  with gimp.

No comments:

Post a Comment