Writing about the day to day mysteries of life.
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Wednesday, March 7, 2012

Farts

This post is for my kids.  I am always telling them to talk about something else, but it never works.  I am trying to decide if I should take Hoover to the emergency room for the terrible gas that he has.  Maybe I should take myself to the emergency room for the terrible gas he has.  It is truly noxious.  He is so happily snoring away or I would kick him out of my room.   I switched him to organic food to help with this enormous problem, but I think it made things worse.  I might have to see what cheapo grocery store kibble does, at least I wouldn't be spending as much for this air pollution.

Cats don't really fart much.  Sometimes if you accidentally squeeze them they may do a little poot, but they are much more dignified than dogs.  It could be they have better waste processing systems.  Whatever the reason, it is definitely a plus for felines over canines.

In kindergarten all the kids brought in a favorite book.  Ned took in "The Gas We Pass".  I am always THAT mom.

Yesterday at lunch the person next to me did a big fart and just acted like he didn't.  Ew, it does ruin lunch a little bit.  When Teri and I were at a fancy restaurant in AZ a women farted long and loudly in the restaurant.  Not once as whoops, but twice as a who the hell cares.  Well I care, because I got the giggles. I just couldn't stop laughing.

The kids have been watching some Youtube videos where guys pretend to fart on people in Walmart.  It is so incredibly rude and also hysterical.  It is a good laugh until they almost get beat up by guy totally offended by someone farting on his wife.

I fart in your general direction.



2 comments:

  1. This started my day with giggles. Thank you.

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  2. I find it helpful to always have a dog nearby, so there is always someone to blame for any gas that might be passed.

    I gave my neice the gastastic Walter The Farting Dog, the heartwarming story of a dog whose pooting eventually saves the day!

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